Gratitude

It’s been a little while since I’ve made a post. Hello out there to anyone who is reading!

Lately I’ve been thinking of how grateful I am for the good things in my life. It’s an exercise that I have tried to practice for many years, and as I get older I think it is coming more naturally. To have made it this far in my life and to have avoided major tragedies is a blessing in itself. The world is not a fair or easy place to live all the time for most people, so every perfectly normal day that we live through where nothing particularly remarkable happens is something to be thankful for. Even days that have setbacks, if they can be overcome, are all right. If I want a little more excitement than that I realize that it’s up to me to make that happen, and I’m okay with that.

Life is a sum of so many parts. There are big parts like relationships, health, career, and finances to little ones like whether or not our car starts in the morning and the weather. Obviously it’s important to try to maintain perspective and not worry to much about things that don’t really matter in the long run. I realize that if I waste time sweating the small stuff that I am missing out on the fact that the important things in my life are actually going really well. It is strange though how easy it is, when the important pieces in life are just fine, to worry about how or when it could all come to an end. Maybe it’s because, as my husband mentioned that other day, that we are at a very responsible point in our lives. To start, we have two small children who are completely dependent and because of that we are responsible for everything associated with them from health to education to teaching them good values and setting them up for success in the world.  We have a mortgage. We are trying to save for our kids’ college tuition and our own retirement. So, even though our day to day is good, there is always the weight of responsibility pressing down on us.

Sometimes, when I manage to not be too distracted by worry or fear or frustration that dinner won’t be ready on time, I actually live in the moment. I look at my amazing children and laugh at their goofy antics or marvel at their athletic feats or artistic creations. I savor the kisses and hugs I get from them. I feel thankful that I have such a wonderful, supportive husband and a nice house to live in. I take a deep breath and feel lucky to live in a nice town, that I can enjoy reading a good book, or take time to appreciate how fun it is to take a walk through a beautiful park. I try to make an effort to truly be thankful for the fact that the here and now IS good. I hope that the future will be good. I think that it’s important for me to be kind to the people around me to help make their here and now good too.

I try to do this because I know how fragile it all is. I try not to be too morbid but I know there are wars and natural disasters and diseases and freak accidents over which I have no control. No one knows what is in store for us tomorrow, or the day after. I can try to prepare for the future and do what I can to make it better. I can have dreams and goals for how I think things can be better for me down the road. But, I am trying to live in the present. Deferring happiness until this or that goal is met is a good way to never feel satisfied and to miss out on life itself. I am trying to start making an actual ritual of taking a regular time out, once a week, where I truly give thanks for everything in my life–the big things and the smaller things like the great joke I heard that made me laugh for three days or the neighbor that shoveled my walk for me after it snowed. I think one of the most important lessons I can impart on my children is the feeling of gratitude, because when you really realize what you have you can appreciate it, and then I think you can set better, more meaningful goals.