Those Alumni Magazines

I recently received my alumni magazine. You know what they’re like, filled with news of renovations, new endowments new faculty, and of course, all the gossip listed at the back, graduation year by graduation year. To be honest, I rarely read it when it comes. Frankly, it’s just not as interesting as all the other reading that I don’t have time for. I never send in information about myself, either. I did a couple times years ago, but I remember painfully trying to figure out what to write to “keep people up to date,” but at the same time not sound boastful, or boring, or like I had something to prove. I remember seeing the information about me in print and realizing with horror that they printed it all, word for word. It was too long and seemed boastful and boring at the same time and I definitely sounded like I had something to prove. I mean, what do you write? “Gosh, I am anxiously awaiting the birth of my second bundle of joy! Meanwhile, I am getting my masters’ degree and just returned from a fabulous trip to Cuba!” Or, “I am still working at my same job and living in the same place. I like to catch a movie now and again.” See what I mean? It’s hopeless.

 

Anyway, my magazine arrived last week when I was recovering from the stomach flu and suffering from a respiratory infection. My husband was traveling and both my kids were as sick as I was. Even though I felt like hell I had no choice but to nurse my two children back to health. Because they were sick they were both in horrid moods all week: irritable, whiny, clingy, argumentative and overly sensitive. I dragged myself through the week, coughing up phlegm and applying lots of cover-up to my red, sore nose to try not to look sick. I could not exercise, had little interest in cooking and could not seem to keep my calendar straight and consequently missed appointments and felt I was letting people down. For some reason, I thought it would be a great time to read through my alumni magazine.

 

There was a movie featured on the cover. “Wow,” I thought to myself, “I’ve heard of this movie!” Then I flipped the magazine open and learned that a fellow alum had been nominated for an Oscar for directing this award-winning film. I looked at the photo of my fellow grad, standing on the red carpet at the Academy Awards ceremony, glowing, in a designer dress. I know her. She graduated the same year I did. I read all about her and the movie and proceeded to read about another grad from my year who is CEO of a really cool environmentally responsible company based out of Alaska. He is also an accomplished tri-athlete and dog-sled racer or something like that. Oh, this is not the first time I’ve encountered a very successful former classmate. I’ve gotten used to hearing one former classmate’s voice on NPR every time I turn on the radio. I see another one’s name in the New York Times Bestsellers list, and see that a television show is coming out soon, based on her books.

 

I decided to read news from different class years and stumbled on a profile of one recent alum who just ran multiple legs of a 189-mile relay race, was a math/art double-major, ended up at Harvard for grad school and now has an incredible job—and she only graduated four years ago. Needless to say, at that particular moment reading about these alumni, I thought, “how on Earth did I get in to college in the first place?”

 

I feel like the world is just filled with uber-people. Some successful people can chalk it up to hard work and a little luck to get their big break. People like the recent grad though blow me away. How does she manage to accomplish so much in so many areas at once? I read about them and get kind of sweaty (and having a fever didn’t help one bit last week). I wonder if I should be doing more, though I don’t know how that is even possible when I can’t keep up with the laundry.

 

I think about my approach to life, and maybe there is just some deep fundamental part of my character that separates me from the people glowing on the pages in front of me. Maybe I’m not that ambitious. I don’t really drive myself hard. For instance, many people talk of the days they were on a sports team of some sort and “ran until I puked.” Yuck, I always viewed that as some kind of disorder. I would run until I was sweaty and a touch out of breath, and call it a day. Then maybe another day I’d push a little more and then stop. When I was old enough I would push a little more, stop, then meet friends for beers which felt so well-deserved after getting sweaty and a little out of breath. I didn’t just have that approach with athletics, I remember in college that some friends would pull all-nighters to cram for exams or to write a paper. I would work a bit late, get sleepy, decide a “B” grade isn’t so bad and go to bed. I tend to work until whatever I’m doing is “good enough” and then call it quits.

 

Overall, when I’m not feeling sick and awful, I think my approach to life seems fairly balanced. Maybe I’m not destined for greatness, but I’m also probably not going to have a nervous breakdown. I don’t think my approach is very American though. I sometimes think it’s more “European” though I’m sure many Europeans would be very insulted to read that. I just don’t think that they tend to be as extreme as us, that it’s not necessarily part of European culture for everyone to constantly strive to be the best at everything. Maybe I’ll live abroad for an extended period in the future to test my theory. But for now, it’s getting late and I’m feeling sleepy, so I’m off to bed.

Tags: Alumni, competition, Culture