And To the Right You Will Find the Orgy Room

I had one of those rough playground moments recently with another parent. The dad I was talking to mentioned that he’d caved and was purchasing a Wii for his son for his 7^th birthday. They’d planned to wait until he was eight, but decided they just couldn’t because this boy was the last in his circle of friends to get a Wii. Apparently all the play dates with his friends were disintegrating into brawls because his son wasn’t familiar with the games and so the other boys would snatch the controls from his hands out of frustration. So, now he will have his Wii and everything will be fine, or so this dad thinks. He didn’t seem to notice the color draining from my face. I mean, I have a 7-year old boy, and we don’t have a Wii. Since how I feel, as my husband puts it, “can blow with the wind,” I couldn’t think of anything to say. I just thought to myself, “my God, should we get a Wii?” I moved across the playground and found a good friend who does not blow with the wind like I do and recounted the conversation. She, very astutely, stated that that could happen with anything, even a game of Monopoly. Not every kid will have the same games, so that’s what’s nice about playing at someone else’s house, you get to play with different things. And my friend made another good point that if these play dates are deteriorating so badly, why aren’t the parents stepping in to say that if they can’t take turns, help their friends learn and play fairly that the Wii will get taken away? Good points I thought. Whew, I felt better.

I’ve heard other parents tell stories about how they started buying all kinds of video games, bigger TVs, etc. because otherwise no kids would come to their house to play. It all makes sense, sort of. But although I want lots of kids to feel welcome in my house, I don’t want a bunch of kids sitting around staring at a video screen, I just don’t. We live in a mild climate and can go outside almost year-round. Our town is filled with parks. The kids sit in school all day. After school, as far as I’m concerned, is time for running around in the fresh air until it’s time to go home and do homework, eat dinner and read before bed. I put in a video for the kids sometimes while I make dinner. I don’t have anything against video watching, really, we just don’t have much time allotted to do it. When the kids have friends over to play that is decidedly NOT a video-watching time because, well, they have friends to play with! And they do play, I’m always impressed by the creativity. So, I think, why spoil it?

And, I think, do I want my friends coming to my house because they like my STUFF or because they like ME? I choose my friends carefully over time, so, generally when someone comes over we’re pretty happy sitting down with tea or wine and having a chat. But what if I went to the same lengths some parents seem willing to go to with their kids to attract friends? What would I do to make my house “cool” so people would accept me and want to come over? Would people like me more if I greeted them at the door and said, “we have an open bar, please help yourself, we have nothing but top shelf liquor. In this room you’ll find a theater with the latest movies playing and down the hall is our indoor pool and hot tub.” What if these measures didn’t work? What if that wasn’t enough? What lengths would I go to to make people want to come over? “Oh yes, please come in! To the left you’ll find the sushi bar and to the right you will find the orgy room. You can have sex with whomever you wish.”

I have nothing against Wiis (and I think an indoor pool would be great). But they are expensive, and money like that spent on entertainment is an investment in my household. Our kids so far have not seemed interested in having one, but I’d hate to think that their chances for friendship and social acceptance in the community are compromised because we don’t have the right “stuff.” I don’t admire a keeping up with the Joneses mind-set, and in fact have never cared much for what the Joneses are doing. However, when cast in the light of possibly having one’s child ostracized, my foundation of values starts to feel a little crumbly (remember I blow in the wind)?

For now, failing play dates seems to be a problem for the son of the man on the playground, not mine. And whether or not the Wii will fix things, I don’t know, but I will guess that before too long the kids will grow tired of the Wii and all those parents will need to run out and get the next, better entertainment system. And I guess they will. Maybe my kids will stick with the “fresh air and lego kids” or maybe they will pester us mercilessly one day for some kind of trendy and expensive toy and we will decide to get them one because it seems like the right solution at the time. But I do dread that day if it comes.